~becca***

i got my retainers yesterday and they suck!! i cant talk, for one. i am a permanent lisper for the next year. and then today at breakfast i discovered that i cant really taste the food either... i mean, arent there like taste bud things on the roof of ur mouth too?? ok maybe not. but still, it feels like im just passing food down my throat w/o tasting it, which totally takes away the whole point of eating in the first place. oh well, maybe ill eat less. lol riiight

officially 5 more days until espana! <- this is a freaked out exclamation mark, not an excited one. who knew that there would be so much to do? my mom is so frustrated with me because i, of course, procrastinated and now we have all this stuff to do last minute... waaaaaaaa

today i have to go notarize and apostillize my school transcript. really, its like what the heck. spain really is soooo untrusting of its incoming ppl. like they believe all of us to be ex convicts or that we all failed school and are just lying about it or something.

~becca***

Happy September!!!

wow, i think this means summer is over... too fast!

but ive always liked september for self-centered reasons. like my birthday. hehe

im starting to have second thoughts about spain. i dont think im ready. but at the same time its so boring here and ive been waiting for this forever, i cant wait to leave. its just hard to imagine that my life is going to be completely different in less than two weeks. im not scared, which is what probably scares me the most. (funny how that is) i mean, isnt it normal to like freak out if u know ur going to leave everything? so why am i not? i just hope i dont start freaking out after i get there.

i miss having a structured life. i feel like im not a part of society anymore. seriously, its like, what am i contributing? but then again, its not like im going to be of any use to anyone when im spain either. teaching ppl about american culture? hmm... what IS american culture? im so in love with japan and its deep culture that i dont really recognize america as a culture. or maybe its because i live here. america is big, spacey, and too free. but im not saying i hate it or anything. i just think i take it for granted. i will probably come back from spain appreciating american culture more than ever.  

and i also think i need to practice my social skills. seriously. i went to homestead and i started getting really self conscious and freaked out because there were SOOOOO many ppl. teenagers. and i mean, theyre american students, like me, and i could actually communicate with them if i wanted to. so if im freaking out at this, how is school in a foreign country going to be like? even if i wanted to, i probably couldnt communicate. and of course being asian in spain will definitely attract a lot of attention. but the problem is, im like completely content with being unsocial. maybe its partly because im a virgo.

i wish i could look at my life through someone else's eyes. i wonder...

~becca***

i got my braces off!!!!!!!! feels so weird!! like its not my teeth... hmm.

and they gave me all this candy!!! but out of habit i cant eat it! its so lame!! im still too scared to eat popcorn and gum.. all ive eaten so far are crunch bars and haagen dazs ice cream... lol

~becca***

hey does anyone wanna teach me how to put pictures on my xanga??? i need to learn before i go to spain

~becca***